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Oleh: @Frida.Pigny
| https://superschool.ing
In many Indonesian living rooms, conversations about children’s futures often sound like recycled dreams from a generation past. Doctor, engineer, civil servant. Stable, respectable, and they say, “guaranteed future”. These options are passed down like family heirlooms, rarely questioned. But are they truly the only respectable paths in life?
In Indonesia, there’s a growing term called ‘salah jurusan’, which literally means “wrong major.” It refers to students ending up in fields they don’t enjoy or never wanted to pursue. In English, we might call this ‘major regret’, a clever double meaning that captures both the academic misfit and emotional cost. The roots of this phenomenon are deep, often tied to parental expectations and cultural norms that prize security over self-exploration.
We grow up in a system that rewards certainty more than curiosity. Children who dare to take a different path: becoming artists, crafters, musicians, or content creators, are often dismissed as aimless, unstable, or unprofitable. Yet, the biggest breakthroughs in history have come from those who didn’t follow the crowd.
A child fascinated by astronomy may be pushed into accounting because it’s seen as more “promising.” A child who writes stories might be forced into medical tutoring because “specialists make good money.” Early interests are often swapped for after-school programs designed to guarantee income. No surprise, then, that Indonesia has one of the highest rates of misaligned university majors.
Our education system gives children little room to try and fail. Mistakes, which are essential to growth, are too often punished. When a child makes a choice and fails, they don’t hear encouragement or reflection. Instead, they hear judgment. “See, I told you! You just wouldn’t listen”.
To an adult, it may seem trivial. But to a child, it’s formative. They learn that mistakes are shameful and that failure means they can’t be trusted. This breeds self-doubt. Eventually, they stop trying altogether. In psychology, it’s called learned helplessness. The belief that your choices don’t matter, so you might as well give up.
Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, in her book Untangled, reminds us that teenagers need a safe space to make decisions, even if they fail. If we want them to become wise adults, we need to let them practice making real decisions while young, and facing the consequences too.
In my own experience as a home educator and mother to a daughter, I’ve learned that maturity doesn’t come with age. It grows from reflection and life’s raw experiences, where one confronts difference, limitations, and empathy.
That’s why I believe deeply in alternative education, learning that doesn’t always take place inside classrooms. One way is through real-life adventures like backpacking, community living, and hands-on exploration. Not as vacations, but as character-building exercises that cultivate resilience, curiosity, and social awareness.
I even wrote a book about this: “Belajar di Luar Kelas: Backpacking sebagai Bagian dari Pendidikan Anak dan Kurikulum Keluarga”, urging families to make backpacking part of their household curriculum. Not for sightseeing, but to build independence, perspective, and real-world skills.
In countries like Germany, Australia, and across Scandinavia, it’s common for youth to take a sabbatical year after high school, known as a gap year. This time is used to explore personal interests, volunteer, travel, or intern. The goal is simple: when they eventually choose a major, it’s because they know what they want to master in life.
According to the US-based Gap Year Association, 90% of students who take a gap year return to college with stronger motivation and better academic performance. Top UK universities, including Cambridge and LSE, even encourage applicants to take a gap year before diving into academic life.
Now compare that to the rush we see in Indonesia. Students scramble to enter university, often without understanding where their chosen major might lead. It’s no wonder that a survey by the Indonesia Career Center Network shows around 87% of university students are unsure if they chose the right major. That’s not failure, it’s a system that never gave them time to think.
Sadly, gap years and backpacking are still seen as “a waste of time and money” here. But in reality, they are an investment in identity, emotional intelligence, and grounded decision-making.
Meanwhile, our rigid education system trains children to avoid mistakes instead of embracing them. How can anyone find their true path if they’re never allowed to take a detour?
Imagine if Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, or even BJ Habibie had chosen the “safest” option their communities approved of. There would be no SpaceX, no Apple, and perhaps no tech revolution in Indonesia. Even beloved authors like Andrea Hirata and Dee Lestari didn’t take a straight road. Their journeys were winding but authentic.
Children need more than academic coaching. They need space to experiment, fail, try again, and reflect. That’s the true purpose of education, not to provide all the answers, but to build the courage to ask better questions.
So before we ask a child, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” maybe we should ask instead, “What are you most curious to explore right now?” The first question is about future status: titles, salaries, degrees. The second invites discovery, growth, and possibility.
The myth that only certain careers are worth chasing needs to go. The world doesn’t just need doctors, civil servants, and engineers. It needs thinkers, explorers, dreamers, and creators. Children need to believe they can be anything if they truly understand who they are.
It’s time we give children what youth in many developed countries already have: time. Time to grow, to fail, to try again, and ultimately, to discover. As parents, we must ask ourselves: When was the last time we truly allowed our child to think and decide for themselves?
Life is not a race to the finish line. It’s a journey of self-awareness, of walking with purpose, not because others said so, but because we know where we’re going, and why we choose to take the next step. (*)
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